


Blind Date

by erintoknow



Series: Fallen Hero Sidestep AU Fanfics [6]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Dinner Date, Extra-Canonical, F/F, Find The Balance, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, sunrise, tense conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 08:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20254972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erintoknow/pseuds/erintoknow
Summary: Nat loaned generously bySwan





	Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

> Nat loaned generously by [Swan](https://ratkingkisses.tumblr.com)

“So…” You nurse your soda, hunched down in your seat. If you keep your hands around your glass you won’t be able to fidget as much, and maybe you can pretend to be normal. “You… work out?”

Natalya, sitting upright in her seat, looks over your shoulder. She avoids your gaze almost as much as you avoid hers. She purses her lips, thinking. Finally after what seems like forever she says: “Yes.” A pause, moment of hesitation. “It’s calming.”

You think about that, stirring the ice cubes around with your straw. “Calming?”

“It’s… just the now.” Natalya turns her gaze downward to the mozzarella sticks resting in the middle of the table between the two of you. Neither one of you has touched them yet. “Don’t need to think about the past. Or Future.”

“Oh, yeah,” You chew the inside of your check. “Yeah, that sounds like a good deal.” You look up at her again. She’s positively ripped, and must have a good half a foot on you. Could probably pick you up and throw you across the street if she wanted. “You… work out a lot?”

“…yes.”

“It– it really shows.” You blanche, “I mean, you look good, fuc-fudge– I mean–“ You cover your face in your hands feeling warm. “Shoot, when is Ortega getting here? She’s late.” Keeping your face covered you tentatively reach out with your mind, try to get a sense of just how little the telepath sitting across from you thinks of you right now. Natalya’s mind gives the feeling of a deep forest, a deep, deep green. Tall and dark and unnervingly quiet in the swallowing of sound. Unreadable. You shrink down in your seat further.

“I’m sorry. I… should go.”

You peek up. “Sorry?” You blink in confusion. “Why are you sorry?”

There’s a grimace on her face as she speaks. “I’ve… made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

“You-you’re fine.” Try to smile. “I, uh, I thought I was making you uncomfortable.”

Natalya avoids looking at you. “You are.”

Your head is resting on the table now, unable to sink any lower. “I’m sorry.”

“No, uh– I’m sorry.”

“Really,” You insist, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I’m sorry.”

You groan, and risk looking up at her. “We’re going to keep doing this aren’t we.”

For the first time in the half-hour you’ve known her, a small smile pulls up at Natalya’s lips. “Guess so.”

———

How did you get into this position? By all rights this date should have counted as a disaster. Just one embarrassment after another. Was it even supposed to have been a date? The two of you were supposed to be meeting Ortega. But she never showed. And then you embarrassed yourself with your complete inability to hold a conversation, and Nat _clearly_ wanted to leave the whole time but was too nice to do so. And then that _damn seagull_ swopped in and stole you dinner while you were busy trying to call Ortega to find out _where the hell she was hiding_ so Nat, clearly feeling nothing but pity for you invited you back to her place for desert and now you’re crying into a chocolate cupcake.

Nat pats your arm, a tentative, awkward motion. “Uh… sorry about the cupcake?”

You close your eyes, sniff. “The cupcake is fine. It’s perfect. Thank you.” You put the cupcake down on top a shelf and slide down to the floor against the wall. You can sense Nat staring down at you in nervous bewilderment. “God, I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.”

“…you’re fine.” Nat lies. They sit down on the floor next to you. You sniffle and wipe at your eyes while Nat sits there, stiff and trying not to stare at you. “…you okay?”

That gets a bitter laugh. “I’d say yes, but I don’t think you’d believe me.”

Nat shrugs. “No, I wouldn’t.” Carefully, they put a hand on your shoulder. “…It’s okay.”

You slump over, resting your head against her chest in the croak of her arm. “I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.”

She reaches over to run a hand through your hair, pats your head. “Yeah, you kind of are.” You flinch at the comment but she pats your head again, “…It’s uh… it’s okay though.”

“God, I’m so sorry.”

Nat gives you a squeeze, and then pats you on the head again, running a hand through your hair. You close your eyes and relax back against her. Okay. This… this isn’t so bad. Finally some peace.

“Watching you chase after that seagull was pretty funny actually.”

You sink out of her arm to lay flat on the floor.

“So…” You think Nat might be looking at you, you can certainly feel her gaze, but you stay focused on the ceiling. Maybe it’ll reveal its mysteries if you stare at it hard enough. “So…” Nat repeats, “You’re, uh… trans t–”

“What!?” It feels like your heart stopped for a second. “Fuck. Shit. Damnnit. What gave it away this time?” You cover your face in your hands. Of course. Of course you get clocked. Why not?

“Uh…” Nat coughs, “You uh, called yourself a slur so…”

You groan. Fuck. Did you really say that out loud? “Y-yeah, so what? Do you… do you want me to leave?”

You can hear Nat shift position on the floor next to you, but you don’t look to see what she’s doing. “No, I… I wanted to say, uh…” There’s a pause, “I get it. I… me too.”

“Oh.” You pull your hands away from your face, tilt your head back to look at Nat. She’s sitting with her head on knees, watching you worriedly. “I– I wouldn’t have guessed.”

Nat frowns at that, shakes her head. “You don’t…. you don’t need to be nice. I know what I look like.”

“I– that’s not what–” You sigh and pull at your hair. “I mean… you’re…. you know…” You can feel a little warmth on your face. “You’re like… pretty and shit.”

A tinge of color washes across Nat’s face, and you look away before your own embarrassment gets worse by sympathy. She clears her throat again, “You don’t… uh, you don’t have to be nice.”

That gets you to roll over so you’re back to looking at her right-side up again. “I’m– I’m not ‘being nice.’” You prop yourself up on your elbows. “Trust me, I– I– I hate that shit too.”

“The pity phrases…”

“Well-meaning barbs…”

“How they… _congratulate_ themselves for including you…”

“But– but you know what they’re thinking, what– what– what they really think…”

“Yeah.”

You grimace and scooch closer back to Nat. “_Jesus, _I ha–hate that stuff.” Without really thinking about it, you put a hand on her knee. “Is that why… um…?” You bite your lip.

Nat shrugs avoiding your gaze. “…guess so?”

“Well I– I’m one-hundred percent serious.” You lean in, willing her to see you’re being honest. “You– you are um, v-very pretty.”

Nat turns to look back to you, to say something, but now you’re close. Very close. How did you get so close? You feel her breath on your skin. How are you supposed to…? You tilt your head right and–

“Um.” Nate says.

You yank back, almost fall over. “Oh– oh god! I’m sorry!” You bury your face in your hands. You’ve been doing that a lot today. “Fuck. Shit. I– I– I should have asked. I got carried away, i’m sorry.”

You feel a hand lightly pat you on the knee. “It’s… fine.” Nat says.

———

It was nice of Nat to let you crash on her couch for the night. You should probably feel guiltier for imposing on her like this. But well. You already feel pretty guilty, so how would you tell? But, still, a solid roof over your head, working A/C? It’s hard to say no to that.

God. Ortega is going to get a fucking earful the next time you see her, bailing on the two of like that when the dinner had been her idea to begin with. What was she thinking?

You’re not sure when you wake up, just the sound of shuffling feet in the dark and a muttered curse. You sit upright immediately, tense. Shit. Intruder? Burglar? You scramble for something to wield in your hands. You find… a pillow. Okay, fine. This fine. It’s a start. Throw them off before beating their face in. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Shifting noises in the dark again. You slowly get to your feet. Crouch low, and listen. In the kitchen? There’s lightcoming in from the balcony. Slide in careful, peer around the corner and–

Oh it’s Nat, standing outside, the sliding door still open, wind blowing through the window curtains. Nat is leaning against the railing, clad in a winter nightgown. You relax. Gently put the pillow down on the ground. Were you… were you seriously thinking you’d beat someone with a pillow? You laugh to yourself and Nat turns, catches your eye and you both freeze.

“Uh–”

“Um.”

You pull at your hair. “S– sorry, I thought someone had broken in.”

Nat slowly shakes her head. “No.” She eyes the pillow you’ve dropped to the floor but doesn’t say anything, thank god.

“What… um… what are you… looking at out there?”

Nat glances back outside. “The stars, they’re pretty.”

You blink. “You can see them out there?”

Nat shrugs. “Some? The… uh…”

“Ground light is real bad, yeah.” You grimace. “C–can I see?”

Nat gives you a look like you’ve said something weird and you can feel your face go flush. “I… guess? I can’t stop you.”

You cross the kitchen and join her out on the balcony. You grip the railing, careful not to put too much weight on it. You’re had bad luck with railings in the past. “They say the ground light problem used to be even worse.”

Nat stares up at the sky, “Sounds awful.”

“When the city was bigger. Before the big earthquake.” You stretch out an arm, point towards a trio of lights out in the black. “There’s Orion’s belt at least.”

Nat nods, you think you can see the ghost of a smile on her face. “Over there,” She points up at something. “You can barely see it, but there’s Mercury.”

You squint, staring along the line of Nat’s finger. “I… think I see it?” Just above the haze of sodium yellow, a point of light piercing through. “That means it’s almost morning, right? I forget.”

“Yeah. Morning star. Sunrise soon.”

You yawn and without really thinking about it, you lean against her arm, head against her shoulder. “I… don’t think I’ve ever actually saw the sunrise before.”

“Want to?”

“Sure.”


End file.
